Please recycle !

If you live in Colombo then this is your garbage. So please recycle !

Recycling-centre (aka Garbage mountain) at Meethotamulla

So can I take my dog or not?

Sometimes we just love to put in as many words together as possible don't we? - even if it makes the message completely incomprehensible.

Couldn't they have just said "No dogs allowed."?

At the movies

I wanted to go see “Skyfall” despite the bad reviews I have seen. There is nothing like a Saturday afternoon spent watching a bit of ‘007’ action. Come to think of it, I have never heard of a bond movie spy with a number greater than ‘009’. Why is the prefix ‘00’ then I wonder?

Anyway, I called up the dialog movie ticketing line for some hassle free ticket purchase. Alas, they only cover ‘EAP cinemas’ I was told by the slightly irritated female voice on the other side. What was I thinking? Surely I should have known that? My bad.

I don’t have 3G on my outdated mobile phone and going to the internet on that is a nightmare. Didn’t feel like booting up my computer – I would have to get up from this comfy position on the couch to do that – why am I even considering that?

I’ll take the plunge and go to the cinema. Even if the movie is in 3 hours that will give me some time to browse through at the bookstore or at the computer/tech crazy joints next door to the cinema. Yes, as you can tell, I am a pretty brave sorta’ guy.

I reached the ‘city that is majestic’, and took the elevator to the top floor. I was pleasantly surprised, large brand-new white tiled air conditioned space just for the ticketing counters and snack-bars on the opposite side. I blinked hard as I stepped out of the elevator in disbelief. This is indeed a far cry from the cinema I came to a few months back to watch Spidy in 3D. Where was the BO? Where were the snaking queues engulfing every pillar going down the staircase? This is certainly a refreshing change.

I walked up to the ticket counter. There were 3 guys behind the 3 counters but none of them were even remotely interested in me. After much hand waving (y’see the glass between us seem to muffle my voice as none of my repeated ‘excuse-me’s reached their ears), finally I got one of them asking me ‘Yes? Can I help?’. You certainly can my boy, “What time is the next screening of sky-fall?” I asked. “It’s at 1.30 and 1.45” he said. Wow, I only have to wait another 30 minutes – what timing! The show must have been playing for a while, no one else is here.

But then the guy tells me “But sir, you have to stay in the queue till we issue tickets at 1.15”. Hello? What queue? The place is empty! “What do you mean queue?” I asked. Then I was directed at a door which led to a staircase going downstairs. When I opened the door, it hit me like the heat that hits you when you step out of an airplane at Katunayake Tarmac. There is a freaking queue after all – complete with BO!

Beautifying Colombo

There is a massive effort put on cleaning up and beautifying Colombo city and it’s suburbs. I think it is great. Certain areas have transformed and looks pretty slick now. People have also taken to it like ducks to water and have come out in droves to enjoy newly built parks, waterfronts and walkways. We see more people engaging in morning and evening walks and generally having a good time.

This is all great. But there is room for improvement. Firstly, I cringe at wasted effort and money I see being put into the area near parliament roundabout/waters edge. For some reason the landscape designer involved can’t seem to make up his/her mind – the area is being built/cleared up/rebuilt at least five times in the last 12 months. I hope this is an isolated case. Anyway, they really should plan properly before they bring in the builders.

Lack of maintenance?

Secondly, maintenance. I worry about this. I really do. Already I have seen broken down structures, signboards and marking that are left un-replaced. Neatly manicured lawns and grass fields left unattended growing weeds and going bald in patches. I wish the authorities would consider maintenance not just as an afterthought but right at the time of initial planning.

However, full points to the authorities for trying and succeeding to a great extent in making Colombo more livable. I hope this trend will continue and will become sustainable too.

Trishaw wisdom

Eating out : Good service is as important as good food

I was battling through mentally and physically draining peak time traffic in Colombo trying to reach home after an equally grueling day at work. As I was passing one of our favorite take away joints, it just dawned on me that I was supposed to bring home dinner tonight. I had passed the turnoff and I was in no mood to make a U turn in this heavy traffic. Briefly thought about calling for a pizza but quickly dismissed the idea after remembering that I was supposed keep fast food away from the kids as much as possible.

That meant only one thing, eating out. After a quick call to one of my good buddies in the restaurant business, I decided to take the family to Bayleaf.

We reached Gregory’s road around 8pm. There was an unusually cool breeze and a slight threat of rain. We chose the verandah to enjoy the breeze. Mercifully the place was sparsely occupied. And the diners were well behaved and didn’t talk loudly.

The kids chose pizza after all – well, at least it was gourmet. I chose the seafood ravioli and my wife, bacon spinach fettuccini. Kids finished their meals without us having to make a fuss – the pizza must have been pretty good. I haven’t had ravioli in years and quite enjoyed it. My wife loved her fresh fettuccini too. All in all, the food was good.

What really made an impression on us was the service. We ordered a few drinks. The strawberry margarita was garnished with a large fresh strawberry. Both my kids love strawberries and had to grudging share it.

Few minutes later, to our pleasant surprise, the waiter brought a couple of large strawberries for the two kids – on the house. That thoughtful gesture made our evening and will be remembered I’m sure.

We left Bayleaf quite satisfied and wanting to come back just as a light drizzle started to come down.

Colombo Election

I can almost hear all the Sri Lankans out there sighing with disgust at the mention of the word “election”. But why don’t we like them? Is it because they are more frequent in Sri Lanka than the chances of garbage collecting man turning up? Or perhaps there are more candidates than the number of bees in a bee-hive? Or even maybe because none of the candidates come up with a proper election manifesto? Not to forget the likelihood of selected candidate swapping sides soon after the result,… I am sure you get my point here.

But to me, this election is slightly different. At least I see it in a different perspective - mainly because I got some insights into some of the candidates. It made it a wee bit interesting.

• For one thing, most candidates seem to be online these days. They promote their campaigns on facebook, twitter and through their own websites and blogs. Perhaps the election laws prohibiting the usual “election poster” has resulted in this exodus to the internet.
• Banning the election poster is one thing, but enforcing it is another. Although the posters are being taken down by police, more new ones get pasted at the same places by the next morning. I reckon what you need is the ability to financially penalize or even disqualify a candidate instead of merely tearing down their poster.
• Then there are these crafty ways to get around the advertising ban. Y’see, apparently the ban is on advertising “Vote for this number”. So some candidates advertise websites that include their number and the “cross” (sign for voting). There are also candidates who organize events (like musical shows) on the day that match their number (ie. someone with number 20 would organize a musical show on the 20th of the month). And advertise in bold letter the organizer’s name (which happens to be the candidate) and the date of the event (which is their number). Too bad if your number is greater than 31.
• Just got to know about a certain candidate who had come out with a poster indicating that he was rubbing shoulders with the president at a certain prestigious international event. But the truth of the matter seems to be that he was neither with the president nor at this event – it was a hoax with a bit of photoshop involved.
• Out of all the people, the “mudalali” at my local grocery shop is also a candidate this time. It takes him a considerable amount of time to figure out the change when I purchase anything from that shop. So he is not the brightest I have met. But then again, level of intellect or qualifications doesn’t seem to be a prerequisite for this job.

Few days back the postman delivered my voting documents together with a large sheet of paper. The paper listed out all the candidates. There were 11 groups and 26 candidates in every group. Making it 286 candidates in total. Last time I checked, population of Colombo city was less than 650,000. That is one candidate for every 2,200. To put it in perspective, my school (which had 5,000 students) would have produced 2 election candidates.

All this may be interesting but doesn’t encourage me to get off the sofa and go to the polling booth. After all there will be two interesting world cup (rugby) matches on the 8th.

Dodgy Petrol?

As many of you might have already heard by now, there is a general concern among the Sri Lankan public (the ones who own/drive vehicles at least) that there is something wrong with the petrol that is available at the ol’ “petrol-sheds” out there.

I don’t read newspapers. Don’t even watch local “news” programmes on the Telly. So it is not surprising that I only heard about this issue yesterday. Only when a colleague of mine at work informed a few of us of an interesting telephone conversation he had just had with his friend who worked at a prominent car dealership in Colombo. He said that there are droves of pissed-off owners brining their sputtering vehicles to this particular dealership to figure out why their vehicle doesn’t run so smoothly anymore. The cause? Apparently, dodgy petrol.

“Oh sh*t! My tank is almost empty” I thought. I was planning to stop by a petrol-shed on my way home tonight to fill her up. During the next 30 minutes, I had called up someone I know who worked at Ceylon Petroleum Coorporation (CPC) and a couple of vehicle dealerships I knew to see if anyone can confirm this. The funny thing is that all three confirmed the story but the dealers were blaming the CPC and CPC was blaming the petrol-shed owners. Now what?

I had very little choice really,.. ignore the warning signs and pump petrol as usual or take the bus. If you had ever travelled on a bus in Colombo you would know that it is not much of a choice at all. So on my way home, just as I planned earlier, I stopped by a petrol-shed. I asked the attendant to fill ‘er up. While waiting I thought I would try my luck with the fuel attendant who looked cheerful enough. Cheerful enough for a petrol-shed attendant pumping petrol at the peak of evening traffic in Colombo that is.

“So what is this fuss about contaminated fuel then?” I asked casually.

Suddenly his cheerful demeanor vanished into thin air. He said, “I don’t know why people believe all these stories.”

Glimmer of hope,.. but I wanted confirmation. “You mean there is no problem”?

“Did I say that?”

Huh? I thought…

“There is a problem. But don’t believe what they say sir”.

He was clearly irritated by my ignorance. But at least he called me “sir”. So I pushed it…

“So what is the problem then?”

“Cars do have problems with this petrol. People come and complain to us sometimes. But how do we know it is our petrol? CPC says their petrol is pure. We take good care of petrol here. But the customer complains. Who knows what is going on?”. He picked up a pebble and threw it at a stray dog that got a little inquisitive – he missed the target but the mongrel was street-wise and didn’t hang around.

“Click” – it was the auto-cutoff of the petrol pump indicating that my tank was now full. That is my cue, I thought. So without another word, I paid for the petrol and drove away.

The way I see it, this is not something I can control even if I get to the bottom of this. So I decided to stay happily ignorant. By the way, the vehicle still works.

Traffic cop breaking the law? Surely not!

It is a sad state when people who are supposed to enforce the law, breaks it themselves. This picture was taken by my good friend 'B' the other day in Colombo. Can you spot how many laws this cop had violated?

Elephants, Trishaws and the Tropics

What I love about this part of the world is that you witness something different every time you step on to the road. It is never boring. Of course you have some people who always complain about the traffic situation, indiscipline on the road and such. I too occasionally have been guilty of doing it. But those come as part and parcel of living in this part of the world.

Take yesterday morning for instance; I was driving to work as usual when I happened to see a huge elephant - a magnificent tusker at that - calmly strolling down the main road. A couple of keepers (AKA mahouts) were walking along with the huge mammal. Trishaw drivers were weaving around them like it was just another 'private bus' cruising slowly looking to pickup that extra passenger. I noticed a few school children pointing at the animal and talking to each other in a rather excited manner. And of course a couple of stray dogs barking at the top of their voices protesting this gross violation of their territory.

I pulled to the side briefly and captured the moment on my phone cam. The entourage passed me by on the other side of the road within the next few seconds. I put my car in gear and headed back into a light traffic. In the background something was being discussed about the IPL on my favorite morning show over the car radio.

Yes, a typical Monday morning on Colombo roads.

Caramel Popcorn

For a few weeks now my missus was looking for this Julius Caesar DVD; She wanted it for a teaching assignment. She had been looking for it in all kinds of DVD stores (and there are many kind too) but in vain. Finally she had heard it might be available at Majestic City.

Like many typical Sri Lankan blokes, I am not the kind who likes shopping – or even be seen at any shopping centre. But then again I wanted to check out a webcam, so I finally agreed to accompany her to MC. My 8 year old who happened to acquire superhuman hearing at that very moment jumped in joy. “Wow, caramel popcorn!”. Y’see, the last time I was at MC (which was a good 7 months back), I bought her a bag of caramel popcorn from that basement outlet near the food court. They were fresh from the popping pan – hot and crispy.

We reached the underground car park around 5pm on Sunday – mercifully there were hardly any traffic. There were plenty of parking spaces too... hmmm… odd! By this time my 8 year old was getting very impatient – so I got her the popcorn immediately – 30 bucks a bag, not a bad deal – it was quite tasty. Then we all went upstairs and into this DVD corner-shop. The very mention of old Julius brought a blank expression to the poor shop-girl’s face. So we moved on. I spotted a fancy DVD shop to my right and swiftly moved in – Julius Caesar? Sure miss, we have the one with Charlton Heston. After a quick play on their in-shop player, we purchased it. By this time, shops were closing all around us. My webcam hunt would have to wait for another day.

As we were descending the stairs down to the car park, I experienced a tug at my t-shirt, “Can I have another Thaththi?”. Gosh, she had already gone through the whole bag. So I spent another 30 bucks – one for the road I guess!

Busy, are we?

I had some visitors over the other day. They are here in Sri Lanka on a holiday (Remember holidays? We used to go on them when we could take some time off from work?). They once lived here in Sri Lanka but now call Austraaaalia (did I get the accent right?) home.

We were catching up and reminiscing over dinner when one of the visitors said, “Hey guys, why don’t we go on a trip to Udawalawe?”. For those who are wondering “WTF?”, Udawalawe is a national wild life sanctuary in the southern region of Sri Lanka and is known for its abundance of wildlife, especially Elephants. Back in the day, a trip to Udawalawe to watch the Elephants and very often get chased by one or two, was a regular event on our annual calendar,.. sometimes even bi-annual.

I thought it was a great idea and immediately started thinking of possible date – especially a weekend. I was thinking “Hmm,.. lets see,.. next Saturday I will have to take R for her fit-on at the dressmaker, Sunday I have to attend P’s wedding,.. how about the following weekend?.. I guess that Saturday too is out as I promised….”

I guess I must have been thinking out loud, as my friend from OZ said, “What’s with you guys (I guess he mean us Sri Lankans, now that he is not one of “us”) these days? So many appointments and shit? Can’t you make a snap decision and take time off from work anymore? I was thinking of going on this trip tomorrow or day after,.. not next weekend”.

He was genuinely puzzled. But here’s the thing,… it never occurred to me that I was being too organized. I always thought of myself to be a spur-of-the-moment kinda guy. Maybe living in Sri Lanka, especially in Colombo, have made me something else?

An afternoon at the game

There were good points and bad.

Papare’ bands were out on force. And they were playing continuously too. Not like at school big-matches where they play for 10 minutes and break for 30. The hot-dogs were excellent and they were being cooked then and there. None of these finger-thin sausages, they were proper mega ones. There was plenty of chilled beer too. Both food and drinks were being brought right to your seats – brilliant.

On the bad side, there was only one brand of beer. And they came only in cans – the men with beer-backpacks were nowhere to be seen. And you were right Dilan, no dancing girls at all. Well, let me rephrase that – no organized dancing girls.

Oh, I almost forgot. As far as the cricket went, we got a real arse whipping hiding from the Indians. We looked like school boys - they were just playing with us.

As they say, a picture can paint a thousand words. So let this one taken from my phone cam sum-up the afternoon for you.

Towels Galore

One of my earlier posts, “Colours of India, included a photo of colourful Sarees in India. Well, here is the Sri Lankan answer to it – towels!

Bag it!

It is pandemonium at the local supermarket. Eggs, Crisps, Fresh meat and Baby dipers all in the same bag. Customers cursing all the way from checkouts to their vehicles. They have stopped issuing free bags at the checkout. Either you are supposed to buy those plastic bags, or bring your own bags. The reason? – Another step towards protecting the environment. A good initiative I must admit, but they don’t seem to have planned the implementation that well. They could have issued quality paper bags instead of the plastic ones and avoided all the fuss.

Any comments?

Divine intervention required - Parking available.

I was able to snap this on Castle Street, Colombo recently. Funny eh?

It got me thinking. As Joan Osborne puts it, what if God was one of us? Some might cry out “blasphemy!” even at the thought of God being compared to mere mortals. I mean no disrespect by this. But think about it; what if????

For one thing, I’d certainly like to know what he (by he, I mean he or she) drives. Would God drive a fancy fast car, a classic limousine-type, a common man’s Japanese car or maybe an environment-friendly hybrid? I’d bet on a hybrid... y’know him inventing the world an all... I’m sure he’d like to keep it clean.

Whatever it is, he will have no problem finding a parking space … at least on Castle Street.

Colombo goes Bananas

Suba Aluth Avruddak Wewa! It was a great time to be in Colombo last week. The days leading up to the Sinhala and Tamil New Year weekend was very exciting even to the people who didn't celebrate the occasion. City sidewalks were packed with vendors with all sorts of goodies including various exotic food items and clothing.

Here I have captured a busy Banana vendor in Battamulla. His produce covered a good 25 meters length of the sidewalk.

Some mothers do have ‘em! – Part 2

For those who read my last post, I am about the reveal our findings. For those who haven’t the foggiest what I’m on about, following is somewhat of a dramatized (and mostly cynical) version of personalities we (my drunken school buddies and I) believe exists in some Technical Organizations in Sri Lanka. All readers please keep in mind that I have not tried to portray any organization in particular. I’m attempting to paint a picture of a rather fictitious office. Any resemblance if exists is purely coincidental and not intended.

Big Wig

Is the Boss, the Don, the General, the El Supremo. Forget the board of directors - this person has absolute power – no matter what the constitution or company articles say. Anyone with half a brain will quickly wise-up to this fact. “Arse lickers” will waste no time – they will start working on him as if there is no tomorrow. The Big Wig will get the best spot in the car park, the best room in the office, the best laptop, the best furniture… I think you get the picture. But what is less apparent is that the Big Wig almost always listens to the Director’s recommendations.

Director

Although the Big Wig can ultimately overrule any action of a Director, it rarely happens. The relationship between these two is similar to a typical hierarchy in a Sri Lankan household. As the famous saying so eloquently put it, “Pa is boss as everyone knows, but what Ma says always goes”. And in most organizations the Big Wig is wise enough to allow the directors to make recommendations. Unlike the Big Wig, a Director’s absence is not highlighted very much. As a result some directors tend to take time off willy-nilly and can be seen at trendy coffee shops or the local golf course during the day. They also tend to travel a lot… and on business class too. Such liberties are mostly seen as wasting company money while contributing Jack (which sometimes is not very far from the truth).

Senior Manager

Way past his/her best. This person is very unlikely to move higher in the corporate ladder. The company doesn’t have the heart or in some instances, the courage to let him/her go. So instead, gives a corner room and assigns some unimportant piece of assignment and a couple of subordinates to keep him/her occupied. Most of the time it will be administrative work that is impossible to complete.

Manager

Supposed to report to the Senior Manager in theory. But is convinced the most effective way to perform is only if he/she bypasses two notches and reports directly to the Big Wig. And in most cases this is exactly what happens. As a result, most things the manager does (including stupid mistakes) get exposed at the highest levels of the organization and outside. By the time the mistakes are identified, it is too late to do anything. The cunning kind will always (and skillfully) put the blame on their subordinates in such cases, but is quick to claim any positive criticisms if any.

Junior Manager

Is the real worker. Most of the time, he/she will be called in to cover the Manager’s arse when the shit hits the fan. They work best when he/she has an un-dying appreciation for the Manager. Mostly a thankless job where he/she is not high enough on the corporate ladder to be able to claim fringe benefits like expense accounts, entertainment claims and worthwhile medicals nor he/she is low enough to be able to qualify for overtime double pay. Ends up working around the clock and develops alcohol addiction, heart conditions, gastritis and broken marriages as a result.

Techie

On par with junior Manager on the ol’ ladder. But has superior technical knowledge and the only kind who knows what exactly is inside the box that is being sold. Due to this reason, everybody (including the Big Wig) will tolerate their antics and occasional tantrums. A typical spoilt brat. Doesn’t give a damn about job security and what anyone else in the company thinks of them. Someday will be promoted to the Manager post and then his/her world starts crashing down like dominos.

Engineer

Has no idea of the company’s goals. Does exactly what the Techie tells them to do. Best describes as a worker ant or a production-line robot. Only goal in life is someday to end up in middle management as a Techie or a Junior Manager.

Trainee

This person sees the company best for what it really is. Will know exactly who pinched whose bottom at the Christmas party. But they don’t dare spill-the-beans or rock-the-boat during their “trainee” period. Secretly develops an infatuation for the most attractive person of the opposite sex at office. Most of the time this is the office Bimbo or the Chippendale in office admin.

Office Bimbo/Chippendale

Can be found in office admin mostly. Hired for their friendliness and attractiveness than anything else. Adds colour to the office. Also serves as the sole motivation for some employees to turn up at office in the morning. Usually ends up providing a rather entertaining story after the office Christmas party. Usually the Big Wig, a Director or a Senior Manager is also somehow entangled.

Consultant

The biggest fraud since fried ice-cream. All-fart and no-shit type of person. Manages to convince the Director or the Senior Manager to extend his/her contract for another year by claiming credit for someone else’s work. Or in some cases simply by using fear tactics. Appears to be busy most of the time in order to put off anyone trying to figure out exactly what this person does in the organization. While middle management and beyond falls for his/her charade, the actual worker ants and below will ridicule this personality behind his/her back everytime they get the chance.

Well,.. did I leave anyone out?

A brief tribute to Sir Arthur C. Clarke

Anyone who played table-tennis with Sir Arthur C. Clarke at the Otters sports club will remember him to be a bit grumpy whenever he lost. But as far as I know that was the only flaw in this genius of a man. His contribution to futuristic theories and science fiction has been phenomenal. While “2001: A Space Odyssey” has been one of his most popular works, I especially enjoyed “Childhood's End", "The Fountains of Paradise", “Richter 10”, “The Hammer of God”, and the Rama series. He somehow manages to inject humanity and consciousness as well as technology into his stories. As a Sri Lankan, I have been honored that he adopted my country to settle down in.

In one of his famous quotes he said "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion". But I don’t believe he would have minded me saying “May he attain Nibbana”!

Doggone!

This blog has gone to the dogs – quite literally! I managed to snap this one on my camera-phone while idling in traffic this morning. Anybody care to comment on this photograph? A creative caption perhaps?