Chairman of Selectors

When I first heard Sanath Jayasuriya was appointed as the chairman of selectors of Sri Lankan cricket, I shook my head partly in disbelief and partly in disappointment. Sanath was a great cricketer (in his day). But he seems to have now turned into this horrible politician who is intend on meddling in the one sport we are good at. What if he selects himself into the team?

But then I read this wonderful blog by Andrew Hughes on cricinfo.

http://blogs.espncricinfo.com/thelonghandle/archives/2013/01/dont_give_up_the_day_job_sanat.php

Andrew is right. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. Better to screw-up cricket than the country's economy.

Conspiracy Theory

If you are the sort who tends to look for a conspiracy in everything, then you’d love to live in Sri Lanka these days. One recent incident in particular jumps up like a cat in heat. The ICC word cup!

Team Selection : Sana and Vaas were included in the preliminary squad. Now my 10 year old girl could have told you how stupid that was – and she does not even follow cricket! Why have them included? Well I reckon they wanted everyone to start taking about cricket – y’know, any publicity is good publicity right?

Venues : They created a whole new ground in Hamba just for the world cup instead of spending 0.0001 of that money on getting floodlights fitted in to SSC. There are two theories here. One is that MR wanted to show off – reminds me of Asterix and Cleopatra story where Cleopatra bets good ol’ Julius that she can build a great palace in 3 months… or something like that. Secondly, some big-wig(s) would have thought “What a great opportunity to get some decent commission?”. I don’t even want to discuss “Pallekele”.

Tickets Fiasco : I tried to find out how I can secure some tickets since early January. I was given a different date to call every time I called the cricket board. After three unsuccessful attempts I gave up. My previous unsavory encounter with the cricket board didn’t help me to summon up my courage to try one more time. I later heard that out of the 30,000 capacity at Premedasa stadium, only 8,000 tickets are available for sale to the general public. WTF? My theory is that MR, Ministers and Cricket Board Officials must have friends, relatives and debtors who collectively make up the rest of the 22,000.

Banned Items : I agree that one should not bring knives and even glass bottles to a cricket ground, but what about the humble Beer and Papare? Who on their right mind would spend one full day outdoor in blistering heat and 90% humidity without cold beer available like running water? And Papare? When did Sri Lanka ever play a single cricket match without the unmistakable Papare music in the background? I remember carrying a banner which in bold letters announced “Warne is a Wimp!” when we played against Aussies at the Premadasa in 1996 – how can you deprive a teenager that privilege? The theory? They wanted to create an outrage so huge that subsequently when they lift the ban, the fellow who lifted the ban can become a household name instantly. That works out well especially when there is yet another election around the corner.

Jeez, my head is spinning just by thinking about other possibilities. Time to have a cold beer and enjoy the re-runs of Lions crushing hapless Canada. Oh how I wish I had a Papare CD. Cheers!

What a comeback...

Us Sri Lankans love to hate Aussie sports teams, especially when it comes to cricket. Often cricketers like Warne and Ponting have got under our skin.

So it is no surprise that I was rooting for the Pakistani team as I was watching the Australia vs. Pakistan T20 world cup semi-final last Friday. With just two overs to go, Aussies looked down and out. But what a comeback it was eventually. You cannot help but admire their self belief and the determination in pulling it off. I wish the Sri Lankan team can take a page out of that.

Hats off to the Aussies.

Cable Business

I've been with the same cable-TV provider for several years now. Despite others coming up (and also dying off) like mushrooms, I decided to stick with my provider through thick and thin. The reason being their superior customer support - in other words, they attended to any phone call within a couple of hours.

Unfortunately, during the last year, this has deteriorated like a new layer of asphalt on Galle Road. Now it takes a good 5 attempts to get through to their "hotline". And when you eventually do, you can guarantee that the first complaint never even get's through to their "technical staff". Infact, this is exactly what happened last week. When I didn't hear back from them 2 days into the complaint, I called back to remind them. Guess what, they could not even locate my previous complaint in their "system".

There is one silver lining though. Due to not having TV facilities, I missed out on the SL-AUS T20 on Friday. Biss!

“King of swing falls for the girls”

That was the headline of an article on cricinfo.com the other day. The article was covering how Wasim Akram (former Pakistani fast bowler) was impressed by the standard at the women's cricket World Cup this year. I thought it was a brilliant headline. So there!

An afternoon at the game

There were good points and bad.

Papare’ bands were out on force. And they were playing continuously too. Not like at school big-matches where they play for 10 minutes and break for 30. The hot-dogs were excellent and they were being cooked then and there. None of these finger-thin sausages, they were proper mega ones. There was plenty of chilled beer too. Both food and drinks were being brought right to your seats – brilliant.

On the bad side, there was only one brand of beer. And they came only in cans – the men with beer-backpacks were nowhere to be seen. And you were right Dilan, no dancing girls at all. Well, let me rephrase that – no organized dancing girls.

Oh, I almost forgot. As far as the cricket went, we got a real arse whipping hiding from the Indians. We looked like school boys - they were just playing with us.

As they say, a picture can paint a thousand words. So let this one taken from my phone cam sum-up the afternoon for you.

...and of course, the Cricket!

Now that Indian cricket team is touring Sri Lanka, few of us at work thought it might be great to enjoy going to the game as opposed to sitting in front of the Telly. Mind you our intentions are to go to the game; not necessarily watch the game. Of course the first two games were ruled out due to the fact that they will be in Dambulla. Distance has nothing to do with it. Y’see Dhambulla stadium is built on land belonging to a temple (at least that’s the story according to my friend). Hence, no beer, no dancing girls, etc… so “where the fun in that?” we thought.

There is no point going to the last two games as by then there is a chance the series could be already decided (best of three and all). So that leaves us with the 3rd match which is to be played at Premadasa stadium (formerly Keththarama stadium) – isn’t it wonderful how politicians get to put their names on such landmarks? Sooner or later, even lamp posts might be known as somebody’s-lamp-post, etc.

I digress,…

Somehow, I ended up agreeing to keep an eye on when the Board of Control for Cricket in Sri Lanka (BCCSL – thank God for Acronyms!) will be putting ticket out for sale. The other day I telephoned their office in Colombo to find out details about the 3rd match and about the tickets. It turned out to be quite an experience.

(although these days the telephones don’t sound like that,.. but I think you all get my meaning)

BCCSL 1 : Hello! (An annoyed female voice)
Me : I’m calling to find out details of Indian tourna…
BCCSL 1 : (the sound of me getting abruptly transferred to an unknown party without a single word from the lady who answered earlier)
BCCSL 2 : Yes?
Me : (Taken back a bit by that “Yes?”),.. err… I was just transferred,… just wanted to find out about ticket sales for the Indian,…
BCCSL 2 : Which match?
Me : (Starting to get a bit annoyed for being abruptly interrupted for the second time) As I was about to explain,.. I’d like to go to the 3rd match…
BCCSL 2 : On 3rd!
Me : No, no,.. to the 3rd Match of the Indian series that will be played at Kethatharama.
BCCSL 2 : (Annoyed voice) 3rd Match is on the 3rd!
Me : Oh I’m sorry, so it’s on the 3rd … 3rd February I assume? Can I buy tickets to that?
BCCSL 2 : No they are not on sale yet.
Me : (after a long pause).. err, can I know when they will be on sale?
BCCSL 2 : We don’t know yet. Why don’t you call back on Monday? We should know then.
Me : Okay,..Can I know the ticket prices?
BCCSL 2 : Which area?
Me : I’m sorry I haven’t been to the stadium in a long time. Can you tell me what’s available?
BCCSL 2 : ,.. (and goes onto explain 5 different ticket rates and very vague description of the seating areas, for example, “Rs. 2000 for A and B Upper”).
Me : Thank you. Finally can you tell me where I can buy these tickets from?
BCCSL 2 : Our office. Come during office time.
Me : Can I know where your office is?
BCCSL 2 : ,.. near SSC.
Me : Is there any other way I can buy them? Perhaps online,.. I mean, on the internet? Y’see I don’t work in Colombo and it is very difficult for me to come to Colombo during office hours.
BCCSL 2 : I think they might be available through Bank of Ceylon but can’t say for sure.
Me : (Getting tired of trying to pry out information from this bloke),..Urrr.. hm,..okay, let me call you back on Monday.

I really don’t want to go through such a conversation again on Monday,.. even if it means not being able to enjoy beer and watch the dancing girls,.. oh yes, and the cricket too!

Sree, Bhajji and the White man.

What an absolute disgrace! Men slapping other men. Men slapping? Men don’t slap. They punch. That is the manly thing to do. And grown men sobbing in public like a 5 year old girl who just dropped her lolly? What is going on?

These Indians are crazy. Either they are in-your-face-agro like what they did in Australia a few months ago or crying their hearts out like they’d been hit by a canister of tear-gas at a JHU may-day rally. Anyone who can see through a Klinsmann fake dive at a soccer match can surely see through the sorry sight of Sreesanth sobbing after the cricket match the other day. Surely he was trying to milk it for all it’s worth. I’m sure he didn’t bargain for Bhajji to be handed out a 10 match ban for all his trouble.

As for Bhajji, he had it coming… sooner or later it had to happen. He really deserved to be punished.

And what do the Aussies think of all this? I bet Symmo and Pointing must be having a good laugh over a pint. The problem with these sub-continent types is their “white-man-complex”. Either they go all out and lick the white man’s boots, or they call everything a racial conspiracy and try to get the upper-hand that way. The latter worked somewhat in the nineties, but it is not fooling anyone anymore.

So maybe they must invent something new. Forking out some serious cash and getting the white man into the IPL might just be the tip of a grand “iceburg” of a plan.

Only time will tell.

Some mothers do have ‘em! – Part 1

Big-match weekend! What a great excuse for getting back together with my old classmates and swig a few beers on a searing Saturday in Colombo.

Although I promised to be at the “grounds” at 11 am, I got held up at the dentist. I had to take my seven year old to the dentist y’see. It’s amazing how her teeth needs attention just as she is about to lose them for more permanent ones. I have been delaying it hoping for the toothfairy’s visit. Maybe I forgot to tip the toothfairly when I was young – for she never arrived in time. I digress...

Anyway,.. it was way past noon when I managed to haul myself up to the grounds. As I was reaching the entrance… “tweet, “tweet”... oh great! An SMS on a Saturday can only mean one thing… emergency at work! Cursing, I checked out the SMS. To my relief it was from one of the guys I was supposed to meet.. telling me they took off to lunch. They want me to come to FD for lunch. I knew better than to complain… after all I was at fault for being late.

As I was reaching FD, I could hear them blokes a mile away. Even from outside the door it was apparent that large volumes of alcohol are already in their bellies and in their bloodstreams. I pity the waiters who have to put up with such boisterous sorts in such instances.

I entered the private dining area to the obvious delight of the guys already under influence. Once the handshakes and high-fives (yes, we are still sixteen) were over, I settled down and promptly orders some drinks (soft ones… yes, they did “boo” at me for that). For some reason, seeing these guys already “blowing in the wind” and the prospects of “catching up” with a few tequilas wasn’t really attractive to me at the time. At Zanziba’s on a Friday night would have been a different case altogether.

Before long, the food came. And it was disappointingly ordinary for FD. Maybe the waiters wanted to teach us a lesson. After all it was Chinese and Confucius did say “He who is drunk will get no tasty food”. Or was it my mother-in-law who said that? Nevertheless, we were all famished and started to gobble up the grub. As the food hit our stomachs and the digestive enzymes did their thing, the conversation turned more civil and actually enjoyable (mum, if you are reading this, we didn’t speak with our mouths full). At this stage I must inform you that three out of the seven guys there were in IT industry, one in telecom, another in apparel (or in “garment” as we Sri Lankans like to put it) and the remaining two managing their own businesses. Quite predictably we started sharing stories from work (yes, we do not have a “life”... none of us are in entertainment or hospitality or fashion or advertising.. okeeeyyy??)

When we started comparing our workplaces, their personalities and their management styles (don’t you just love such talk?... they give me goosebumps), it dawned on us that there were definitely clear and identifiable groups of personalities across our workplaces. So we started to explore that over the traditional lychees. Of course being the sensible and leaner member of the group, I went for the caramel-de-cholesterol pudding.

I wanted to let them know that I might just be able to blog it... but then that would have been too geeky and would have surely received an even louder “booo”.

...to be continued!

Bring it on!

Cricket; it's a funny game. The only sport I can think of which involves at least a full day to complete one game. To most people that is way too long to be a spectator sport. But if you ask any Sri Lankan out there, they will tell you otherwise.

Being a full blooded Sri Lankan, I am no different. I stayed up till 3 am this morning, despite it being a weekday to witness the Sri Lankan team crush New Zealand to book a place in the final. Having won all their games so far in this tournament, the Aussies look favorites to take the other final spot over South Africa.

Although Sri Lankan team’s chances of wining the world cup will be a lot more if they get to play South Africa in the final, every Sri Lankan’s dream would be their team triumphing over the mighty Australians. For we are a sentimental lot – we love to reminisce our famous 1996 world cup win over Australia. And what a treat it would be to do it all over again.

Come Saturday, drums will beat, trumpets will sound. And under the hot Caribbean Sun Sri Lankans will go head to head with a formidable opponent. We will have the local crowd behind us and I can almost hear them saying….

"Bring on the Aussies maan!"