Crates or Sacks?

If you are living in Sri Lanka, you would definitely be aware of the major commotion related to the change in laws for transporting vegetables. Most seem to think the intention behind enforcing such a law is good, but the process of planning and implementing is poor.

On one side, the farming community (including the middle-man, or should I say middle-person?) are trying to save every cent to maximize profit. On the other side we seem to have a minister who is not willing to compromise having being frustrated by delays in enforcing the law and also smarting from a slightly bruised ego.

I quite like the article below (if you ignore the political brownie points it seems to be trying to score). Looks like this Harsha dude knows what he is talking about (at least in this instance).

http://www.lbo.lk/fullstory.php?nid=1755694470

So what is your take on this? A country like India seems to be wasting as much as 40% of veggies during transportation and storage. I believe it is much less here in Sri Lanka. Nevertheless, will crates save a considerable amount of wastage as indicated by the minister? Or is he just trying to get rid of some plastic items probably offloaded to us by our big brother China? Do the farmers have solid reasons to oppose such a law? Or are they just resisting change just for the sake of it?

Let's have your say friends....

Entrepreneurship... Or is it?

Much has been written about this over the years in Sri Lanka. So called ‘International’ schools that are popping up faster than you could say 'sahodaraya' at a JVP rally. Are there any standards? Can any Tom, Dick or Perera open up a tuition class and call it an International school? Surely not? You would think so wouldn’t you?

Well, the truth is they can. And that is exactly what they do. We Sri Lankans are experts in copying. If they guy next door opens a little grocery store, it is guaranteed that another moron will do the same a few houses down the street very soon.

Last Wednesday morning I was driving along the narrow back lane off Kotta road (in Borella) – I think it was called Gothami Road. By the time I travelled from the Kotta road turn-off to the P.Sara stadium (maybe a maximum of 300 meters in distance), I came across 4 fishmongers (y’know the guys who sell fish from a box on the back of their bicycles?) – do they ever have enough sales to go around? I wonder…

Why is this so?

Censorship gone mad.

National TV channels - wonderful entities, aren’t they? For some time now they have been censoring out certain scenes. Nudity, I can understand – but cigarette smoking and liquor consumption? Isn’t that going a wee bit too far? Just the other day they were showing an old black-and-white movie starring Paul Newman (I forget the title of the movie). Can’t even remember how I ended up deciding to watch it. Come to think of it, I do seem to have a very short memory these days. At least I remembered that I have been having memory lapses – thank God for that.

Moving along...

Let’s face it – those days smoking cigarettes was in fashion. They smoked like chimneys and drank like fish. The fellow in charge of censorship on that TV channel that day had had a field-day! After the first 20 minutes I just couldn’t take it anymore – out of the first 20 minutes I would have seen maybe about 5 minutes of the movie… the screen was “squared-out” the rest of the time. Of course I tried that watch-thru-the-t-shirt trick, but alas! No joy!

I just hope the same rule will not find its way to the PayTV channels – our last resort.

Some mothers do have ‘em! – Part 2

For those who read my last post, I am about the reveal our findings. For those who haven’t the foggiest what I’m on about, following is somewhat of a dramatized (and mostly cynical) version of personalities we (my drunken school buddies and I) believe exists in some Technical Organizations in Sri Lanka. All readers please keep in mind that I have not tried to portray any organization in particular. I’m attempting to paint a picture of a rather fictitious office. Any resemblance if exists is purely coincidental and not intended.

Big Wig

Is the Boss, the Don, the General, the El Supremo. Forget the board of directors - this person has absolute power – no matter what the constitution or company articles say. Anyone with half a brain will quickly wise-up to this fact. “Arse lickers” will waste no time – they will start working on him as if there is no tomorrow. The Big Wig will get the best spot in the car park, the best room in the office, the best laptop, the best furniture… I think you get the picture. But what is less apparent is that the Big Wig almost always listens to the Director’s recommendations.

Director

Although the Big Wig can ultimately overrule any action of a Director, it rarely happens. The relationship between these two is similar to a typical hierarchy in a Sri Lankan household. As the famous saying so eloquently put it, “Pa is boss as everyone knows, but what Ma says always goes”. And in most organizations the Big Wig is wise enough to allow the directors to make recommendations. Unlike the Big Wig, a Director’s absence is not highlighted very much. As a result some directors tend to take time off willy-nilly and can be seen at trendy coffee shops or the local golf course during the day. They also tend to travel a lot… and on business class too. Such liberties are mostly seen as wasting company money while contributing Jack (which sometimes is not very far from the truth).

Senior Manager

Way past his/her best. This person is very unlikely to move higher in the corporate ladder. The company doesn’t have the heart or in some instances, the courage to let him/her go. So instead, gives a corner room and assigns some unimportant piece of assignment and a couple of subordinates to keep him/her occupied. Most of the time it will be administrative work that is impossible to complete.

Manager

Supposed to report to the Senior Manager in theory. But is convinced the most effective way to perform is only if he/she bypasses two notches and reports directly to the Big Wig. And in most cases this is exactly what happens. As a result, most things the manager does (including stupid mistakes) get exposed at the highest levels of the organization and outside. By the time the mistakes are identified, it is too late to do anything. The cunning kind will always (and skillfully) put the blame on their subordinates in such cases, but is quick to claim any positive criticisms if any.

Junior Manager

Is the real worker. Most of the time, he/she will be called in to cover the Manager’s arse when the shit hits the fan. They work best when he/she has an un-dying appreciation for the Manager. Mostly a thankless job where he/she is not high enough on the corporate ladder to be able to claim fringe benefits like expense accounts, entertainment claims and worthwhile medicals nor he/she is low enough to be able to qualify for overtime double pay. Ends up working around the clock and develops alcohol addiction, heart conditions, gastritis and broken marriages as a result.

Techie

On par with junior Manager on the ol’ ladder. But has superior technical knowledge and the only kind who knows what exactly is inside the box that is being sold. Due to this reason, everybody (including the Big Wig) will tolerate their antics and occasional tantrums. A typical spoilt brat. Doesn’t give a damn about job security and what anyone else in the company thinks of them. Someday will be promoted to the Manager post and then his/her world starts crashing down like dominos.

Engineer

Has no idea of the company’s goals. Does exactly what the Techie tells them to do. Best describes as a worker ant or a production-line robot. Only goal in life is someday to end up in middle management as a Techie or a Junior Manager.

Trainee

This person sees the company best for what it really is. Will know exactly who pinched whose bottom at the Christmas party. But they don’t dare spill-the-beans or rock-the-boat during their “trainee” period. Secretly develops an infatuation for the most attractive person of the opposite sex at office. Most of the time this is the office Bimbo or the Chippendale in office admin.

Office Bimbo/Chippendale

Can be found in office admin mostly. Hired for their friendliness and attractiveness than anything else. Adds colour to the office. Also serves as the sole motivation for some employees to turn up at office in the morning. Usually ends up providing a rather entertaining story after the office Christmas party. Usually the Big Wig, a Director or a Senior Manager is also somehow entangled.

Consultant

The biggest fraud since fried ice-cream. All-fart and no-shit type of person. Manages to convince the Director or the Senior Manager to extend his/her contract for another year by claiming credit for someone else’s work. Or in some cases simply by using fear tactics. Appears to be busy most of the time in order to put off anyone trying to figure out exactly what this person does in the organization. While middle management and beyond falls for his/her charade, the actual worker ants and below will ridicule this personality behind his/her back everytime they get the chance.

Well,.. did I leave anyone out?

Sorry Machan

They say every individual is different and cannot (or should not) be stereotyped. But I disagree and think as Sri Lankans, we clearly show certain “qualities” that give us that unique signature style. Now… I’m not taking about these new age, culturally merged, fast-food bellied, coffee shop loving, lets-do-lunch type Lankans. They have a totally separate set of habits – which I don’t intend to go into on this article. I’m talking about the original, full-blooded Sri Lankan you find at the Sunday Pola^*1 or on a typical “Private Bus”^*2.

We smile at everything; when we are happy, when we make a mistake, when we are stressed out, even when we are constipated (that comes from my friend who admitted that smiling helps very much… go figure!). Heck, we see some lunatic driving straight at you the wrong way on a one-way street. He will stop right in front of your vehicle and give you the best smile he can muster - somewhere in that smile are an apology and a request for you to make way for him. Of course being a Sri Lankan you would know that.

We overuse words like sorry, aunty (or uncle)^*3, sir, and machan^*4. Very frequently using them more than once in the same sentence. For example, it is not uncommon for us to say “Machan, sorry machan”.

We have an opinion on just about everything. From running the country to the selection of the national cricket team, we believe we can do better than whoever is in control.

The concept of doing something on time is mostly limited to a few auspicious events during traditional New Year’s celebrations. Being late for something is no big deal for us. It is common for someone to not turn up for an appointment and not even apologize for it when they finally do meet. The strange thing is that the other party will be fine with this –they won’t even expect an explanation.

Sri Lankans are touchy-feely type of people. When friends meet they tend to hold each other’s hands throughout the entire conversation (especially if you bump into a friend of the same sex on the road). Most non-Sri Lankans will put a homosexual connotation to this behavior – but we know better.

Just try paying the bill after you’ve just had a meal in a nice restaurant with several of your Sri Lankan friends. Every single person at the table will want to pay that bill, regardless of who is hosting the meal or the amount of the bill. They won’t even hear of sharing! In such instances, I just give up – after all, it is nice to go back home with some money still left in my wallet for a change.

I’m sure the list goes on and on. Some of these habits can certainly be annoying,.. but then again that is who we are. Remember, we could do a lot worse.


^*1 - Pola is a traditional Sunday roadside market where prices are negotiable and bargains are plentiful.
^*2 - Buses in Sri Lanka are clearly categorized into Government (or Public) owned and Private owned. These privately owned buses (known as "Private Buses") are everywhere and easily outnumbers Government owned buses by at least a ratio of 3 to 1.
^*3 - Sri Lankans use the word Aunty and Uncle to address or refer to almost anyone who is older than themselves in appearance. This includes total strangers they happen to meet on the road.
^*4 - Machan is a very versatile word. Although the true meaning of it is "brother-in-law" most Sri Lankan males use this word as an Australian would use the word "mate"; to convey camaraderie. Occasionally females also use the word to convey the same meaning.

Who dares Facebook?

The latest craze in online social utilities seems to be Facebook. I'm not the sort of fellow who spends hours on end online. But after several of my friends raved about it, I finally decided to try it out.

Although I use less than 10% of facebook's various tools and functionality, I have already hooked up with several of my long lost friends thanks to it's vast reach and great search engines. I find it to be a great "friend locator" than anything else.

There are some who registers but avoids putting their profile details including photographs due to privacy concerns. Maybe they have a point,.. but I guess without such profile details, it defeats the whole purpose.

Colours of India

It may be an overpopulated and a dusty city. But Chennai is full of colour and culture. Check out the vibrant colours of the photo - it was taken at a shop which dedicated itself to Sarees. For any readers who might not be from the subcontinent, it is a common garment worn by women of India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and other countries in that vicinity.

Sunday afternoon Jazz

I have been meaning to check-out "Jazz Unlimited" held at a popular Rugby club every 1st Sunday of the month. But my Sundays have been pretty hectic for some time.

It was a warm Sunday afternoon in Colombo; time was around 3.30pm when I arrived at the venue. Jazz was already in full swing. The crowd pleasant and colourful. Foreign expats easily outnumbered locals. Beer was flowing and mouth watering Bar-B-Q aroma filled the air. I recognized a few prominent faces. Also a few nods from people whom I've met in passing before. There was even a bouncy-castle and pony rides for the kids.

I settled down at a table with some company I new well. Started tasting refreshing chilled Carlsberg beer. Ahhh, what a way to spend your Sunday afternoon. I was already regretting not making it before.

Jazz was getting better with every performance. Either that or I was getting drunk on Carlsberg. I even got to witness the thinnest smoke I have ever seen. Towards dusk, the music was transforming from Jazz to Blues with a stunning performance of Gary Moore's "Still got the Blues" by Shafee, the ex-WildFire member.

Live music wound down around 8.00pm. There was still a relatively large crowd hanging around when I left. It was indeed a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I will certainly be there next month... maybe with my family too.