So can I take my dog or not?

Sometimes we just love to put in as many words together as possible don't we? - even if it makes the message completely incomprehensible.

Couldn't they have just said "No dogs allowed."?

Conspiracy Theory

If you are the sort who tends to look for a conspiracy in everything, then you’d love to live in Sri Lanka these days. One recent incident in particular jumps up like a cat in heat. The ICC word cup!

Team Selection : Sana and Vaas were included in the preliminary squad. Now my 10 year old girl could have told you how stupid that was – and she does not even follow cricket! Why have them included? Well I reckon they wanted everyone to start taking about cricket – y’know, any publicity is good publicity right?

Venues : They created a whole new ground in Hamba just for the world cup instead of spending 0.0001 of that money on getting floodlights fitted in to SSC. There are two theories here. One is that MR wanted to show off – reminds me of Asterix and Cleopatra story where Cleopatra bets good ol’ Julius that she can build a great palace in 3 months… or something like that. Secondly, some big-wig(s) would have thought “What a great opportunity to get some decent commission?”. I don’t even want to discuss “Pallekele”.

Tickets Fiasco : I tried to find out how I can secure some tickets since early January. I was given a different date to call every time I called the cricket board. After three unsuccessful attempts I gave up. My previous unsavory encounter with the cricket board didn’t help me to summon up my courage to try one more time. I later heard that out of the 30,000 capacity at Premedasa stadium, only 8,000 tickets are available for sale to the general public. WTF? My theory is that MR, Ministers and Cricket Board Officials must have friends, relatives and debtors who collectively make up the rest of the 22,000.

Banned Items : I agree that one should not bring knives and even glass bottles to a cricket ground, but what about the humble Beer and Papare? Who on their right mind would spend one full day outdoor in blistering heat and 90% humidity without cold beer available like running water? And Papare? When did Sri Lanka ever play a single cricket match without the unmistakable Papare music in the background? I remember carrying a banner which in bold letters announced “Warne is a Wimp!” when we played against Aussies at the Premadasa in 1996 – how can you deprive a teenager that privilege? The theory? They wanted to create an outrage so huge that subsequently when they lift the ban, the fellow who lifted the ban can become a household name instantly. That works out well especially when there is yet another election around the corner.

Jeez, my head is spinning just by thinking about other possibilities. Time to have a cold beer and enjoy the re-runs of Lions crushing hapless Canada. Oh how I wish I had a Papare CD. Cheers!

Linked-In or Linked-Out?

Lately, I have been receiving reminders fairly frequently from the socio-professional network called LinkedIn. All this time I have been treating them just as I treat any Nigerian email claiming to share a sudden multi-million dollar windfall if I reply to them; drag-and-drop in the trash – the electronic trash that is – on my computer.

But today I had some time to myself and curiosity took the better of me – isn’t it curious how curiosity does it? I clicked on the link and ended up on the sign-in (or is it the sign-on?) page (I’m sure most of my readers are conversant with the terminology – if not, too bad). I entered my personal email address and tried a few of my usual password. I got in on the 4th attempt – had it been a site designed by folks who design ATM software I guess I would have had it after the 3rd incorrect attempt. “Designing ATM software”, now why does that sounds awfully familiar?

Anyway….

WTF? There were 43 requests waiting for me. Some were requests for endorsements and others invitations to join various groups. I was no longer interested in joining any other group. That left me with 14 requests for endorsements. Suddenly I felt important. People actually want my endorsements? Wow! I started writing a few in earnest. By the end of the day, I had only managed to complete 6.

One question though,… Do potential employers really take these endorsements seriously? I mean in this internet/social networking age, deceptions and impersonations are as commonplace as fries at McDonalds aren’t they?

Bowled out!

I had a horrible time at ten-pin bowling the other night. Ended up with a miserable score of 89. Six months ago I was consistently scoring 180s and even touching on 200 on some occasions. What happened? Yes, I've not been visiting the bowling alley as frequently as I used to, but 89? I even scored more than that the very first time I picked up a bowling ball.

Java Embargo?

It has been a while since I last had to do anything with Java (no, not the coffee nor the island, it's the computer programming language). Recently something on my computer required the latest Java runtime to be downloaded. It even automatically directed me to the Sun website for the required download.

But then to my surprise I saw this flashing on my screen.

Is Sri Lanka an embargoed country for Java?

Censorship gone mad.

National TV channels - wonderful entities, aren’t they? For some time now they have been censoring out certain scenes. Nudity, I can understand – but cigarette smoking and liquor consumption? Isn’t that going a wee bit too far? Just the other day they were showing an old black-and-white movie starring Paul Newman (I forget the title of the movie). Can’t even remember how I ended up deciding to watch it. Come to think of it, I do seem to have a very short memory these days. At least I remembered that I have been having memory lapses – thank God for that.

Moving along...

Let’s face it – those days smoking cigarettes was in fashion. They smoked like chimneys and drank like fish. The fellow in charge of censorship on that TV channel that day had had a field-day! After the first 20 minutes I just couldn’t take it anymore – out of the first 20 minutes I would have seen maybe about 5 minutes of the movie… the screen was “squared-out” the rest of the time. Of course I tried that watch-thru-the-t-shirt trick, but alas! No joy!

I just hope the same rule will not find its way to the PayTV channels – our last resort.